Father Son bonding

Reid: Dad?

Miah: *turns down the radio*
Yeah Bud?

Reid: what does "serpentine" mean?

Miah: snake like.

Reid: okay...can you turn it back up?

You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! You're gonna DIIIIIEEEE!

Farts. The best conversation EVER.

Reid: EEEEEEWWWWW! Gross Finn! Your fart smells like rotten eggs!

Me: all farts smell bad Reid.

Finn: yeah. Except for Jesus's farts.

Me: Jesus's farts don't smell bad?

Finn: No. Well, YOU know.

Me:?

Finn: ALL angels farts smell good.

Me: They do?

Finn: Yeah, of course. Like the tooth fairies farts.

Me: What do the tooth fairies farts smell like?

Finn: Chocolate chip cookies.

Me: They DO?!

Finn: Well, every night I lose a tooth, I hear a 'buuuurrttt', and then I smell chocolate chip cookies. So...

Reid: Wow. Great imagination Finn.

Finn: Oh, it's NOT imagination. You'll see.

Lobsters

Finn: Are Starbucks and Target on the same team, like is that why there is a Starbucks in Target?

Me: It's beneficial to both of them. Someone might come in for coffee, and realize they need laundry detergent. Or some one might do their Target shopping, and then want a coffee.

Reid: Kind of like at Albertsons? Like someone might go grocery shopping at Albertsons, and then see the Starbucks and get a coffee, or someone might go to Starbucks for a coffee and remember they need a loaf of bread from Albertsons.

Me: Yeah, kind of the same thing. A little different cause the Starbucks is inside the Target. But, yeah, pretty much.

Finn: Oh, okay, so kind of like a lobster, who lost his shell, and that was the first Starbucks, but then he found another shell, which is the other Starbucks.

Me: ...??????

(Yelling across the house)

Finn: Mooooooom! What makes the "ol" sound?!

Me: you tell me!

Finn: ..."L"? Just "L" by itself??!

Me: That depends. Tell me what word it's in!

Finn: "Asshole!"

Me: what are you doing in there?!

Finn: making a mii guy! His name is asshole!

Look at this

Finn: Mom!!! Get in here you gotta see this!!

Me: what is it?

Finn: just come look!!

Me: what IS it??

Reid: Holy SHOOT mom!! You better come look at this!!

Isn't it purty!!!  I know it.  I was a birthday gift from my father in law :)  Of course I put it on right away, and haven't taken it off.  So sweet of my children to notice...

Finn:  Mom, I am really glad you got that necklace.

Me: I know!  Me too! It so beautiful huh!

Finn:  Yeah, I am just really glad you have it, ya know, in case of emergencies.

Me: ?  I dont see how its going to help out in an emergency...

Finn: Ya know, if you fall...and you cant get up...you can push that button...and someone will come and help you.

*****crickets*****

Reid:  He thinks it a life alert, Mom.

Me:  Yeah, I got it thanks.


Fuck, kid.  I may do an inordinate amount of falling, but I can typically, get myself back up.  Thanks for your concern, dude.

It has been SOOOO long since I posted.  My family is still quite entertaining (see, infuriating), but I've just been putting their shit on FB.  Which is WAY easier, but doesn't give me the permanent record.  So, I am back. Cause these dudes need to be able to look at this when they're grown, cause Kristina said it will make them think I am cool...or, quite possibly THE WORST MOM EVER.  Lucky for you guys, I don't give a fuuuuuuck.  I also apparent set up a FB page for this shit, some time ago, so I might get that crap going.  Now, speaking of poop...

Finn:  hey guys, guess what?!  Wast night, my poop made an "e"!

Reid:  an upper case "E"?

Finn: no!  A wower case "e"!  Duh.

Reid: oh, sorry, I am F wording tired.

Finn: yeah, my F wording neck hurts.

Reid: F word.