Isn't it purty!!!  I know it.  I was a birthday gift from my father in law :)  Of course I put it on right away, and haven't taken it off.  So sweet of my children to notice...

Finn:  Mom, I am really glad you got that necklace.

Me: I know!  Me too! It so beautiful huh!

Finn:  Yeah, I am just really glad you have it, ya know, in case of emergencies.

Me: ?  I dont see how its going to help out in an emergency...

Finn: Ya know, if you fall...and you cant get up...you can push that button...and someone will come and help you.

*****crickets*****

Reid:  He thinks it a life alert, Mom.

Me:  Yeah, I got it thanks.


Fuck, kid.  I may do an inordinate amount of falling, but I can typically, get myself back up.  Thanks for your concern, dude.

It has been SOOOO long since I posted.  My family is still quite entertaining (see, infuriating), but I've just been putting their shit on FB.  Which is WAY easier, but doesn't give me the permanent record.  So, I am back. Cause these dudes need to be able to look at this when they're grown, cause Kristina said it will make them think I am cool...or, quite possibly THE WORST MOM EVER.  Lucky for you guys, I don't give a fuuuuuuck.  I also apparent set up a FB page for this shit, some time ago, so I might get that crap going.  Now, speaking of poop...

Finn:  hey guys, guess what?!  Wast night, my poop made an "e"!

Reid:  an upper case "E"?

Finn: no!  A wower case "e"!  Duh.

Reid: oh, sorry, I am F wording tired.

Finn: yeah, my F wording neck hurts.

Reid: F word.

All I am sayin' is that if you don't have kids, and your planning on having some, you better get over ALL you insecurities reeeeeal quick like. Cause those little fuckers, speak the truth, and you cant take it personally. Or you will have a fucking mental break down.



Finn: Hey Mom, Reid has a boney butt, and you have a bloody butt.

Me: Bloody? There blood? On my butt?

Finn: No, its bloody, cause its fat, its full of blood.

Me: ???

Finn: What? Your butts fat. *shrugs*

Me:?

Finn: What? You have a fat. butt.

Me: *head tilt* ???

Finn: What??? Why are you looking at me like that? I am just saying, you have a fat butt. Its fat. your butt. Its pretty fat.

On the election...

Reid: I have always thought that name was cool. "Baracko". Don't you think.

Me: Baracko?

Reid: Yeah, Baracko Bama. I like his first name.

Me: Yeah, I guess its pretty sweet.

Reid: What do all the numbers mean? Like " hes up blah blah percent"?

Me: They ask a bunch of people who they're going to vote for, and then they put the percentages on TV, last time I saw it was about 50, 50. Half for Romney, Half for Obama...

Finn: DARK HELMET PLAYS WITH DOLLS.

This is some wisdom from Miah, he's no Finn or Reid, but he cracks my shit up on a regular basis. It's what keeps our marriage going strong...that and his rockin body...and alcohol.



At the Legoland water park, floating down the lazy river:




Miah: What's with all the "rules" at this water park? You have to sit a certain way in the tubes? There weren't rules like this at the water parks I went to as a kid.

Me: I am sure there are now. If they're in CA. You might be able to go to West Virgina, or Kentucky for some lawless water park fun.

Miah: Can you fuck your sister there?

Me: Yeah, I don't see why...wait, at the water park?

Miah: Yeah.

Me:  I mean, sure, I guess, maybe it depends on the county?

Miah: But no brother on brother?

Me: Of course not! Not in the Bible Belt! Sheese.

Wipe my ass

Finn: Can I help you with your Star Wars Legos?

 Reid: If you wipe my butt every time I have diarrhea for the rest of my life?

Finn: hummmmmm, okay! I am in, wets do it.

Finn: Are we high up?

Miah: No, we're at sea level, we're pretty low. You could say, we're in "limbo".

Finn: What's a limo?

Miah: A long shiny black car.

Finn: So we're in a long shiny black car?

 Miah: yep.