Well, she was a bitch.

I have been out of the blogging game for SO long, I don't even know if I know how to do it anymore. We have been on vacation:

Vacation highlight: My 6 year old nephew calling "Uncle Jeremiah" (my husband), "Uncle Man-gina". ON ACCIDENT!!!! Highlight of my life actually.




This was literally 1 second after he said it. I am that good.

Thank you Troy, you are so awesome.

Another vacation highlight: Finn says "DAD, throw a snowball at my mouth!"






Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, call CPS, I already tried, and they say they wont take 'em.



Then my kids were sick, it was totally awesome:



I know, Real Housewives, eat your fucking hearts out. You think it might be really gross and gnarly if those bowls actually got puked in, and I had to clean them out? NO threat of that here. My children prefer to puke on: the floor in their room, all over their bedding, the floor in the bathroom, me, the floor in the hallway, and each other. In that order. Notice "toilet" is no where in that list. And, apparently the words "barf", and "puke", make my eldest barf and puke. He prefers "regurgitate". Jesus.


Then I turned 32, which was really fine. Until I started to actually think about getting older, and blubbering to my kids about growing up, conclusively scaring the shit out of Finn about getting older, and now he insists he is going to be 4 forever. Add that one on to my "Mother of The Year" list. See where thinking gets you!?!? No where good, that's where.


Then there is Finn, saying so much weird shit every, single day that I don't even feel I know what is post worthy or not anymore.

But I am pretty sure this was:

So, the other day I was driving Finn and his little girl friend around, (like Miss Daisy, for real) And some dumb whore (and not in the good way, like I call my best friend a "dumb whore") cut me off. (alright, alright, so I cut her off, but there was a big bush, and I couldn't see her, and we were both going really slow in a parking lot, so it was no big deal...what? Like your a perfect fucking driver?). Anyway, she gave me the 'ol stink eye, and I was all

"WHAT BITCH!?!?!"

and Finn goes

"Don't worry Sophie, my mom wasn't calling you or me a 'bitch', she was calling that lady a 'bitch"

"Yeah, that's right Sophie, not you. And Finn, you cant say that."

"OK Mommy. Sophie, My Mom wasn't calling you or me 'that bad word', she was calling that lady a 'bitch'.

Luckily Sophie's mom is one of the coolest bitches I know :)

Good day.