Seems genitalia is the only thing we ever discuss at the family table...and frankly, Id have it no other way.
Reid: Anna is probably gonna have babies
Me: Yeah, why do you say that?
Reid: Because of something tat starts with a "B"
Reid: I cant say it at the dinner table
Me: Its okay, what?
Reid: Its like, right under your tummy...
Me: It starts with a "B"? Or a "V"?
Reid: a "B"
Me: Okay Reid, what, its okay.
Me: Anna is gonna ave babies cause you have balls?
Okay, I am TOTALLY trippin at this point because I think were are going to have the sex talk right there, at the dinner table, at 6 years old. HOW does this kids know that balls = babies??? Is this a Yo Gabba Gabba that I missed?!
Me: So, uh Reid, why do you think balls have anything to do with babies?
Reid: Well, you said the doctor took off Milo, the cats balls so he cant have babies. But, I still have balls, so me and Anna can still have babies.
Me: Thats right.
Reid: Can I have dessert now?
Me: Finns pee pee was hurting him at the beach today.
Miah: You know it might have been hurting cause its time for it to fall off.
Reid and Finn: (Stare with mouths dropped open)
Me: Dont listen to him, its not gonna fall off, hes just messing with you.
Miah: No really, its probably time for it to fall off and then you grow a new one.
Reid and Finn: (continue to stare)
Miah: Yeah, ya know like a lizard, loses its tail, and then grows a new one, you loose your wiener and then you grow a new one.
Me: He is totally lying you guys, don't believe him.
Miah: Yeah see, you just pull on it real hard, and it comes off.
Reid: Dad, I have been tuggin' on my wiener for 6 years now, and it hasn't come off yet.
Miah: Well Reid, all I have to say to that is, your not tuggin hard enough.
Silence....(I look around the table and no body hands are visible)
Reid: Its not working Dad
Finn: yeah Dad, not working.
Me: (#143 things I never dreamed I would have to say) Ok, no tugging on your wieners at the dinner table.
5 years ago