Inspired by my Father in laws "quote book", it will only be the funniest, and most though provoking of statements, I am gonna try not to do too much mushy shit, its just for laughs after all.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Reid: Mom, is 'douchebag' a bad word?

Me: Um, yea, its a pretty bad word. I would'nt say it if I were you, you'll probably get in pretty big trouble.

Reid: Yea, I figured it must be a bad word, since its like, your favorite thing to say.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Good, clean, jokes about car pooling

Reid and Finn are in the hot tub, wrestling. Finn starts crying.

Reid: Finn! Whats wrong? Finn? Finn!

Finn: Whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa.

Reid: Finn! Come on! Lets fight! You are ruining my whole day!

Ok, so that wasent even close to the funniest thing that happened to me today, my kids couldnt be this funny on their best day.

I was at Albertsons this morning, just as I am getting out of my car, a 'mom', a 'mom' that I can tell hates me approaches. Oh shit. I am going to get an earful about either my driving, music with explicit lyrics, yelling along to my music with explicit 5 years old singing right along with me.

"Brass Monkey! That funky monkey! I 've got the bottle, you've got the cup, come on everybody lets get..." God! Reid and I just LOVE that song!!! But I digress...

Lady: I just LOVE your sticker!!!

Me: do?

Lady: Oh YES! Its just so true! I mean really, if I am not giving you a ride, some one elses mom is. Ha ha ha! So clever.

Me: Uh, thanks.

Come on Reid, LETS GO! (before she figures out what it really means)

should make for some interesting conversation over dinner with her hubby.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I can make animals vomit with the sound of my voice.

Me: BA-BA-BA BEAN SPROUT!!!! LETS BLOW BA-BA-BA-BUBBLES!!!!! (sing songys voice)

Finn: Mom. just...don't

Me: Why? Why cant I sing??

Finn: Becauths Mom. The births are trying to eat.

Me: Ok, so why cant I sing when the birds are trying to eat.

Finn: (sigh) Mom. (shakes head) Becauths, when you sing, the births woose their attipiteths.

Ouch. I had no idea the mere sound of my voice could cause woodland creatures to feel nauseated. I really wish you could hear the disdain in his voice when he talks to me sometimes. It is so hilarious to hear his little lispy, three year old voice, so defeated by my actions. Its almost like I exhaust him. Like just my presence of being, is more than his little brain can take in one day...I wonder where he gets it ;)