So I got a new cell phone. Siri lives in it. Siri is this bitch you can say really fucked up shit to, and she never gets pissed. Sometimes she can help you with shit, like how to get places, how to cook quinoa, texting while driving, making shopping lists, that type of shit. Anyway, Siri was suppose to change my life, and do all my shit for me. Shes not holding up her end of the bargain.
I asked her to remind me about something funny that Finn said. With Siri's help, I was finally going to start blogging again!!! I was going to be able to use her to help me remember all the funny shit for like 2 hours, cause there is no fucking way, I could remember ANYTHING for 2 hours. Well, 3 days later, I go to check it. Heres what it says:
"Blog about James China man and about him asking what Ohlone."
Thanks Bitch. "ohlone"??? Is that even a fucking word? Is it SIRI? IS IT EVEN A FUCKING WORD?*
So, I thought about, for like 2 hours. Ironic, no? And finally remembered what it was. Of course, even the great Finn may fail, after a build up like that, but, here goes:
As I am putting Finn to bed
he has his eyes closed, this far away smile on his face, and hes grabbing at his chest and tossing some invisible something out in the air.
Finn: That was me, throwing hearts to aaaaallllll the girls.
Me: Well isnt that sweet, my little ladies man.
Finn: (smile replaced with scowl. serious. as. shit.) What did you just call me?
Me: Uh, "Ladies Man"?
Finn: (relived) Oh, okay. I thought you called me "China Man"
In the car
Finn: If you are alone, you are all my your self. Right mom?
Me: Yes Finn.
Finn: Mom, what does "alone" mean?
Me: Just what you said. It means you dont have anyone with you, you are all by your self.
Finn: THATS WHAT I SAID.
Me: I KNOW thats what you said, I said you were right.
Finn: I know I am right. (long pause) What does "alone" mean?
Also, he wanted me to know, that when he says the Pledge of Allegiance, instead of saying:
"one nation, under god" he says:
"one nation, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" Like all, pissy and angry and shit. That should be interesting in Kindergarten.
*It's a Native American Indian tribe, FYI.
4 years ago