Inspired by my Father in laws "quote book", it will only be the funniest, and most though provoking of statements, I am gonna try not to do too much mushy shit, its just for laughs after all.

Friday, March 11, 2011

A short lesson in making your Mom think she is losing her fucking mind, by Finn:

Finn: Mom, what is the ice thing, that has fruit and ice, and and a stick in it?

Me: a Popsicle?

Finn: Is it frozen?

Me: The Popsicle? Yeah its frozen.

Finn: Did I say frozen?

Me: Yeah, is it a Popsicle that your talking about?

Finn: Is what a Popsicle?

Me: What your asking about?

Finn: What?


Finn: Mom, I have no idea what you are talking about.

And now, to make her feel like a lazy loser:

Finn: Mom, why is it called a "yoga mat"?

Me: Because I do yoga on it, and its a mat. I lay on the floor on it.

Finn: You lay on it....and that is your exercise? Laying on it? Ok Mom, wah-ever you say.

And finally, a recipe for my kitchen to yours. I pretty much have this every morning. It is really frustrating that I cant seem to learn my lesson.

Mixed berry almond cinnamon oatmeal:

1. Pour some oats in a bowl, put some milk on that shit.

2. Add a little cinnamon (NOT Cumin, it will NOT taste the same, trust me)

3. Spill too much almond extract in the bowl, (try to scoop some out, go ahead try, its clear).

4. Cut up some... strawberries, but be too lazy to dirty a cutting board, so just use your hand (the blood adds a nice little something).

5. Toss in a handfull of blueberries ( make sure half of the handfull ends up rolling all over the god damn kitchen floor, call your 4 year old in to stomp the crap out of them)

6.Put it in the microwave for about 30 sec too long ( causing the entire thing to boil over all over the mother fucking microwave)

Clean all that shit up, and start over AFTER coffee.

Your welcome.

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